This weeks featured witty quotations :
Quotation Title : Cat Stevens
Quote on Laughter
Quote : I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but
I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry.
Quotation Title : Charles Dickens Quote on Wisdom
Quote : A loving heart is the truest wisdom.
Quotation Title : Che Guavara Quote on Life
Quote : We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are
willing to die for it.
Quotation Title : Christina G. Rossetti Quote on Silence
Quote : Silence is more musical than any song.
Quotation Title : Clive James Quote on Play
Quote : She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a
midget is good at being short.
Quotation Title : Dalai Lama Quote on Knowledge
Quote : Each of us in our own way can try to spread compassion into people’s
hearts. Western civilizations these days place great importance on filling
the human 'brain' with knowledge, but no one seems to care about filling the
human 'heart' with compassion. This is what the real role of religion is.
Quotation Title : Stuart
Macfarlane on Good Advise
Quote :
Never give advise.
Quotation Title : Dante
Gabriel Rossetti Quote on Love
Quote : Love is the last relay and ultimate outposts of eternity.
Quotation Title : Dawn French Quote on Painting
Quote : If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been
revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the
paintbrush.
Quotation Title : Douglas Adams Quote on Impossibility
Quote : The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely
improbable lacks.
Quotation Title : Dr. Seuss Quote on Reality
Quote : You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality
is finally better than your dreams.
Quotation Title : Edgar Degas Quote on Painting
Quote : Only when he no longer knows what he is doing does the painter do
good things
Quotation Title : Edward Heath Quote on Unemployment
Quote : Unemployment is of vital importance, particularly to the unemployed
Quotation Title : Emo Philips Quote on Time
Quote : Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to
murder a loved one because they're the devil.
Quotation Title : George Harrison Quote on Love
Quote : Sunrise doesn't last all morning, a cloudburst doesn't last all day,
seems my love is up and has left you with no warning. It's not always going
to be this grey. All things must pass, all things must pass away.
Quotation Title : Groucho Marx
Quote on Animals
Quote : Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's
too dark to read.
Quotation Title : Jennifer Lopez Quote on Beauty
Quote : Beauty is only skin deep. I think what's really important is finding
a balance of mind, body and spirit. Somebody said to me not too long ago,
'Until you're twenty, you have the face you are born with, and after that
you have the face you deserve', and I really loved that - the idea that you
wear who you are on your face.
Quotation Title : Kylie Minogue Quote on Homosexuality
Quote : Gay icons usually have some tragedy in their lives, but I've only
had tragic haircuts and outfits.
Quotation Title : Lord Byron
Quote on Wisdom
Quote : Though sages may pour out their wisdom's treasure, There is no
sterner moralist than Pleasure
Quotation Title : Oscar Wilde Quote on Wit
Quote : Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.
Quotation Title : Quentin
Crisp Quote on Housework
Quote : There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four
years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
Quotation Title : Salman Rushdie Quote on Thinking
Quote : When thought becomes excessively painful, action is the finest
remedy
Quotation Title : Spike Milligan Quote on Reading
Quote : I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I
thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
Quotation Title : Zsa Zsa
Gabor Quote on Housekeeping
Quote : I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the
house.
This weeks featured witty poems :
A Warning on Spontaneous
Combustion by Stuart McLean
O' whisky is the king of drinks,
Renowned the world o’er,
But here’s a word o’ caution,
Tae think of when ye pour.
There’s a certain combination,
That tastes so very good,
But when it hits your tummy,
And mixes with your food.
That’s when the trouble starts,
For yer pleasure hits overload,
And half an hour later,
Ye’ll suddenly explode.
So there ye are in the pub,
Completely engulfed in flames,
And yer good wife’s dashing home,
Tae lodge insurance claims.
Well now that I have told ye,
Don’t say ye’ve no’ been warned,
So don’t try it oot yersel’,
Or ye’ll soon be bein’ mourned.
Copyright Stuart McLean : from No' Rabbie Burns
This weeks featured witty Jokes :
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Single Malt Whisky and a week-old Donner Kebab please take a few minutes to have a
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